Sunday, December 23, 2001

I did my new Kickboxing video by Kathy Smith today but only lasted 18 minutes. I am proud though that I at least exercised. My goal for now is to try and exercise 15 minutes per day. Eventually I'd like to be exercising 30 minutes 5 times a week. I think the last time I did this I overdid it and burned out. I was exercising almost every single day. Now I'm going to try and vary my routine more with other types of exercises. For instance I have this weight lifting routine I want to try 3 times per week. Then I will do my videos at least 2 times and maybe 3 times also per week. That should give me a well rounded workout. I am taking this very slowly though.

I am trying to ignore my feelings of blahness. If I let my feelings control my everyday thinking and actions, I would do nothing at all. So I am trying to ignore "how I feel" and do what I know I should be doing. I am also not going to beat myself up anymore if I do not exercise as much as I think I should be and instead congratulate myself for any little exercises I do. My self esteem has taken such a beating the past month or so that I haven't been exercising, and it's all because of my own thoughts. I feel like such a failure for not only smoking again but for not exercising and eating all the wrong things. Well of course, this just makes me eat even worse as food is my comfort. Don't get me wrong, I do watch what I eat most of the time and haven't been doing too bad, but it's times when I am down that I eat even more of the wrong foods. So I will be doing everything I can over the next few weeks to make myself feel better physically and emotionally. The eating and weight loss will follow naturally after that.

Posted by Leah @ 11:57 AM CST [Link]

Saturday, December 22, 2001

I am so out of shape, I can't believe it. I exercised again today and could not finish my new video. It's supposed to be 30 mins. of exercise, but I only made it through 20. I am slowly trying to get into my routine again though so it's better than nothing. I found a really good exercise routine in my Shape magazine that I want to try very soon also.

I am smoking again. It really just happened before I realized it. I was smoking full fledged on my vacation already. The only good thing is I smoke about 5 ciggs. a day, if that. I'm not sure why I can't quit. Or I should say, why I can't stay away from them once I do quit. I had quit so easily this last time. I went over a month without a cigg. I am not going to attempt it again for quite some time as I hate this feeling of failure when I start in again. One day I will be ready.

I am really fighting the Winter blahs so I am going to force myself to exercise as I know I will feel better, even if it's just a little bit.

Posted by Leah @ 11:40 AM CST [Link]

Friday, December 21, 2001

I worked out today for the first time all month. It was a very short workout as I am out of shape already!! This past month of no exercise has really hurt all the progress I was making. I just got my new videos so I'm hoping this will help motivate me to start in again with my daily exercises. I'm taking very small steps to try to get back into a routine. I still have zero motivation so I'm hoping I can do this. I really need to as I do know I felt much better physically and emotionally when I was exercising. Plus my largest size pants are getting tighter and I refuse to buy a larger size, so I need to drop some weight. I'm surprised at how flabby I am getting after only a few weeks of not exercising.

Please pray for me that I'll get the motivation to do this again. :)

Posted by Leah @ 08:21 AM CST [Link]

Sunday, December 16, 2001

I've been bad. I still have not exercised. I don't have any excuses, I am just super unmotivated.

I had ordered some new exercise videos 2 weeks before I left for vacation in hopes that I would get some motivation. Well wouldn't you know there was a screw up at Amazon and I have yet to receive them. So I am hoping that I will find the motivation I need to get started again once those arrive. I mean this is awful. I can't even talk myself into exercising for 10 minutes. The sad thing is I don't even feel that bad about it.

I am really into a super blah funk. It all started with the change of Season and is not getting better. I'm sure not exercising isn't helping. I really need to get my act together. Meanwhile, I will not be weighing-in or taking measurements. What is the point?

Posted by Leah @ 09:43 AM CST [Link]

Sunday, December 9, 2001

I'm home from my vacation. Unfortunately, I have gained some weight. It's not unexpected though as we went out to eat every day at least twice, plus we snacked constantly and went out drinking at night. I was up 7 pounds Friday night, but now am only up 2.

I am going to begin my workout starting tomorrow, hopefully. I did get my period today and have awful cramps so we'll see, but I'd really like to get into a routine. I had been slacking even before I left for vacation. I also need to update my exercise log (though I have little to ad). I am going to have my official weigh ins and take my measurements on the last day of each month, or maybe the first day of the month, not sure yet.

Posted by Leah @ 10:26 AM CST [Link]

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