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09/09/2001 Entry: "9/09 Morning"

Thanks to all of you for your support, encouragement, and advice regarding my post below. I have taken it all to heart. The anonymous friend wrote some extremely insightful advice, some of which I already knew, and some where I can see I need to work on. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Last night Shawn and I rented a movie though we never got to watch it as we sat down and had a long talk instead. We have had this same talk in the past, but we went over everything we are feeling, yet again. I do try to use "I" statements rather than "you" but my mistake is that I start out an argument very calmy but when I don't get any results or response I attack. I am working on that though. Communication is so hard. Shawn and I have resorted to writing each other letters when we've had arguments that we can't resolve. In fact, I had written him a 4 page letter yesterday that I ended up trashing because I realized it could have been a carbon copy of the previous letter I wrote one month ago. We discussed a lot of important issues and have agreed to work them out. All we can do is keep trying. I'm so relieved he is willing to talk about everything and even tells me how good he feels after one of our talks. That's got to be a miracle in itself. So we are working on making some changes. I think I finally got him to understand how important it is to me that we have one date per week, at least. Once we get married and have children I know things will change so I'd like to enjoy each other as much as possible now.

Replies: 4 comments

Sounds like things are better. That is great that you were able to sit down and talk it out. That is my biggest problem... I am an attacker too. LOL What happens is what is meant to be a civilized discussion ends up in a battle because something I say makes my husband defensive and then he will make me defensive. Vicious circle. I also sat and gave a lot of thought to the advice from your anonymous friend. I think I knew a lot of it as well but I need to work on applying it. :o)

Jill has spoken @ 09/09/2001 09:18 AM CST

I'm so much like you Leah, I want to have just ONE day with mine, no children, no friends, no family, no work ... no nothing. But I never seem to get it. It's like I have to steal it from him and force him to conversate with me. You find something that works please share I could use the help myself. I'm very happy to hear you both talked that's always a positive.

Keep Smiling!!

Kat has spoken @ 09/09/2001 07:49 PM CST

I'm glad you had a good talk Leah. As long as you can talk, I think you can work out pretty much anything. (this I know after 23 years of marriage)

Bev has spoken @ 09/09/2001 09:00 PM CST

Hang in there! Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is a good man. It takes time to get them seasoned just right, you know. (LoL)

Lee has spoken @ 09/10/2001 09:23 AM CST

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